Whitney Motivates Blog Post 1
Analyzing your circumstances
Your circumstances do not define you. When you allow your thoughts to affect you, then they do.
I recently discovered Brooke Castillo’s Self Coaching book, Self Coaching 101: Use Your Mind-Don’t Let It Use You. From the title, it’s self explanatory. When we allow our minds to use us in negative situations it doesn’t create a positive outcome. If you’re here, I know you want help regulating your negative thoughts so that you can live a happy life. Well, you’re in the right place. Throughout this blog post, I’ll be highlighting Castillo’s Self Coaching Book because it helped me so much. I was always overthinking, had negative thoughts about myself over the smallest things said or done to me. I wanted to find a way to shove my thoughts away for good. But, not all of your thoughts are negative.
Reflection time:
Think about a positive circumstance you were in yesterday or a few weeks ago. Do you remember all of the positive thoughts and feelings that were there? Well, that’s the real you and that’s the way you should train yourself to live to be stress-free, not anxious, or however, you may feel in a negative circumstance. Again, your circumstances don’t define you and I’m so glad you’re seeking a solution for eliminating negative thinking. I’m not saying that your negative thinking will be gone forever, it’ll be there, but what I’m going to show you is how to push through the tough circumstances with positive thinking to live a better life.
A sentence that sticks with me from Castillo’s Self Coaching book is, “All the power to change how you feel is in your thinking.” If you want to feel happy, think happy. Easier said than done right? Well, if you take a look at a mock-up mini worksheet I created from Castillo’s Self Coaching book, it helps you identify the way you may currently think about your circumstances in a negative way to changing them to a positive lens. I recommend you fill this out for any circumstance that arises, positive and negative. Doing both gives you perfect practice with getting in the habit of doing this in your head. Each time I find myself in a negative circumstance, I become a “Watcher” then put my circumstance into the mini worksheet on paper and in my head. Castillo defines a “Watcher” as you viewing yourself having negative thoughts and then recognizing that you feel a certain emotion because of these negative thoughts. That’s when you act. What I mean is, you recognize that you need to make a change in your thinking, not necessarily your life. Not only does doing this help me identify my negative thoughts, but it also helps me take a deeper look at the circumstance to remind myself that the circumstance is not my fault.
Now below, go ahead and fill out the mini worksheet to become a “Watcher”.
Negative thinking: Positive thinking:
Circumstance:____________________________Circumstance:____________________________
Thoughts:________________________________Thoughts:________________________________
Feelings:_________________________________Feelings:_________________________________
Actions:__________________________________Actions:__________________________________
Results:__________________________________Results:__________________________________
My negative thoughts were that small peanut voice in my head (my ego) telling me a bunch of negative things about myself for working somewhere I don’t favor. Sometimes that small peanut can feel like it’s taking over your life till you’re on the verge to view life negatively every day which then starts affecting you, those you surround yourself with, your job, etc. It’s time to take back control baby.
When I decided to become a “Watcher” of my negative thinking as Castillo describes, I was able to recognize these negative thoughts that were NOT true.
Just because my job happens to be a toxic work environment at times, doesn’t mean it’s a reflection of me. Also, even though I gradually developed into a shitty work environment that I make a profit from (this is me making my circumstance positive) doesn’t mean that I should just jump into something else right away without trying to solve the cause of a toxic work environment first. However, if you find yourself in an toxic environment, please free yourself, but take Castillo’s Self Coaching 101 tips with you.
P.S. I keep my letter of resignation and updated resume on standby 24/7 for when I know it’s time for me to move on.
With my job I choose to reflect on the good moments that I’ve had so far. I’ve been able to improve my communication and presentation skills; the main two anyway. I’m gaining a lot from my first out of college job even when my circumstances try to cover it up. Sometimes I think maybe if my college courses were surrounded around preparing me for life after college, would have felt more prepared? I want to point out that some colleges never display the true outside adult world. In a way, you’re still in this facade that covers up the fact you’re reliving high school. For example, you may be event planning for freshmen, writing papers and taking tests, or even dealing with drama similar to Highschool. You’re not gaining all of the correct tools to help you succeed in the outside adult world.
Not to mention as a college student you’re at this point in life where you’re trying to figure yourself out and those surrounded by you. What you don’t realize is that in all reality, those you’re surrounded by in college, won’t always be there for you years from now. Props to those that stick around though.
Life gets busy in all reality. You have all these new added pressures targeting you when you’re out of the school system (sounds like the prison system because in a way it was for me). At the end of the day, all you can do is persevere. You have to push through life with positive thoughts or else the negativity will consume you.
Was I prepared for this beautiful insanity (making my circumstance positive)? Who knows? Was any adult truly prepared? Maybe not. I believe I was more excited; excited to finally not worry about living paycheck to paycheck and worry about a college tuition payment or worrying about having to find a part-time crappy job to pay for my busted-ass car (that got me around somehow). I must admit when I entered the professional world, many of the people I worked with seemed unaware of college life even though many of them were college students previously. I guess it depends on the person’s background. Those graduating from middle school, high school, college, and so on, I wish you the best of luck. You’ll make it as long as you regulate your negative thinking and think positive. If you want to feel happy, think happy.
It’s never too early to prepare for your adult life. Adult you would be extremely grateful if you learn more about budgeting, creating a savings account, and even building your credit.
Below you’ll find a few resources that I’ve prepared for your life after college adventures. There’s more resources out there, don’t stop here! Have fun, be human, and think positively.
- “Adulting” 101: How to Prepare for Life After College: https://www.regions.com/Insights/Personal/Life-Stages/Young-Professionals/adulting-101-prepare-for-life-after-college
- 10 Ways to Prepare Now for a Great Life After College: https://www.collegexpress.com/articles-and-advice/career-search/blog/10-ways-prepare-now-great-life-after-college/
- How to Build Credit: https://www.experian.com/blogs/ask-experian/credit-education/improving-credit/building-credit/
- How To Make a Personal Budget in 6 Easy Steps: https://www.thebalance.com/how-to-make-a-budget-1289587
- How to Start a Business in 13 Steps: https://www.nerdwallet.com/article/small-business/how-to-start-a-business
References
Castillo, B. (2018). Self-coaching 101: Use your mind– don’t let it use you. Brooke Castillo.
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